The Price Family Home Companion

Not the Time for Chit-chat

As many of you have come to realize, I have several pet-peeves. One such peeve is when people try to carry on a conversation with someone who is in the restroom. I believe if someone is in the potty they should be left alone. It's a concept that my lovely children just can't seem to grasp. From the number of people I've heard talking on their cell phones in public restrooms I was beginning to think I was the only one who felt this way. Today I overheard a conversation that let me know I'm not alone.

From one stall: Daughter - "Hey Mom are you going to lift weighs today?"
From other stall: Mom- "What? Don't talk to me right now."
Daughter - "Why?"
Mom - "I can't concentrate!"
Daughter -(sarcastically) "Can't concentrate on what? Peeing?"
Mom - "Shut up!"

I found the whole thing quite amusing but now have to accept that my kids may never get it.

(By the way if I call you while you're in the restroom please don't answer the phone. If I hear the toilet flush in the background I'll lose complete respect for you and may not be able to talk to you again. Unless that's your goal, don't do it.)

Summer School

Salem is a very attentive big sister. This summer she has pulled Ryan aside at some point almost everyday to tutor him in drawing shapes and writing letters. He's an eager but not always successful student. Salem showers him with praise for his efforts and always gives him an A+ 100% on his papers and puts a sticker on his T-shirt. Saturday morning was the first time Ryan decided to ditch class. His teacher responded by chasing him down and attempted to drag him to his desk. He escaped and ran to our bedroom where Jeff and I were sleeping peacefully. All the commotion  woke Jeff up and he grumbled, "What's going on? What's the problem?" Salem, thinking she'd have an ally said, "Ryan won't come to school!" Jeff, who hated school, told her, "Leave the poor kid alone! It's Saturday for cryin' out loud. Plus it's summer. Give him a break." Salem left the room defeated.

She certainly hasn't given up teaching though. Last night the kids were jumping on the bed when I heard her say, "No Ryan! That's not how you fall off the bed. Here let me teach you how to fall off the bed like a professional. Don't you want to learn how to fall off the bed like a professional?" I had no idea my daughter was a professional bed faller offer. I heard stories about kids helping their families make money in these hard times, some little girl's selling her artwork for big bucks and another is writing and illustrating children's books. That gave me an idea, if anyone wants to watch my daughter fall off the bed that'll be $25/fall. She is a professional after all. To watch Ryan take a spill it's $10. He may not be a professional but he has taken lessons from one. If you want Salem to give your child lessons so he/she too can fall off the bed like a professional it's $40/half hour with a certificate at the end declaring your child a professional bed faller offer.

Jimbo

The other day I was rocking Ryan in my arms and telling him how I knew a little boy who was the sweetest boy ever, who had a smile that brightened the world and on and on. After my litany of praises I said, "and this little boy's name is Ryan Michael Price." Ryan smiled up at me and I asked, "Isn't that your name?" He responded immediately, "NOPE!" I said "What?" He replied "My names Jimbo." I had to laugh. Jimbo? Of all the names in the world he picks Jimbo? For the next couple of hours he only responded to Jimbo

The next day he got into trouble and was told he couldn't play the Wii for the rest of the day. Later on he walked up to me smiled sweetly and said, "Um Mommy, Jimbo wants to play the Wii." I said, "Oh he does, does he? Well where's Ryan?" He responded, "Well, I just saw him. He's at school...eating pizza." He's too smart for his own good. Just because Ryan's in trouble that doesn't mean Jimbo is. Right? As cute as it was it didn't work.

Later that night when Jeff and I were tucking him in I asked if he was Ryan because I really wanted to give Ryan a kiss. He said, "Of course I'm Ryan." I said, "Good I was ready for Jimbo to go home I missed my Ryan." He replied, "This IS Jimbo's home. He's sleeping on the top bunk." This one's gonna keep me on my toes.