The Price Family Home Companion

Oh Ye Of Little Faith

Anyone who knows Jeff knows that he is an awesome programmer, but he's not known for being terribly handy around the house. However, this is a stigma he is working to overcome... mostly by amassing various power tools.

Since we bought our house he has learned to fix leaky toilets and dripping sinks and can hang pictures with Euclidian precision. Last summer we painted the outside of our 2 story house ourselves. This summer we built a new fence after the hurricane knocked down our old one. All these accomplishments have greatly improved Jeff's handyman-esteem.

So, this Saturday he spent several hours building a large shelf to suspend from the ceiling of our garage. He got the idea from a friend who is very handy. He got to use all of his favorite tools: the circular saw, his cordless drill (affectionately called the Makita), and his Dremel. When he was done we all ohhhed and ahhhed. I made a passing comment on all the extra holes in the ceiling which he quickly attributed to a faulty stud finder - a backhanded hint of a stocking stuffer if you ask me.

He was very proud and didn't waste any time putting things on the new shelf (heavy things) before we left for a birthday party that night. When we got home and opened the garage door we were all holding our breath. I let out a quiet sigh of relief when I saw it still hanging.

Salem on the other hand just blurted out, "Wow! I was sure that thing was going to be on the floor!"

Jeff turned and said "Thanks." She responded, "Well, I was!"

Puppies???

The last several nights we've heard a lot of barking. It was definitely a "new" dog because no one in our neighborhood leaves their dogs out at night. Also, as strange as it may sound, we can usually recognize each of our neighbors' dogs by it's bark. Jeff insisted the barking was coming from next door but I wouldn't believe him because that neighbor has a bazillion cats.

Today Ryan was playing in the back yard when he suddenly threw open the door and announced that some little black dogs had come to our house for a visit, they were little tiny, and he LOVED them. Jeff went to check it out and sure enough our neighbor has two (lab mix) puppies that had dug under our newly built fence. Jeff solved the problem by putting them back in their yard and blocking the hole. It took him like 2 minutes.

As soon as Jeff came back inside Ryan opened the hole up so his new friends could come back over. Apparently they were as taken with Ryan as he was with them. When I went out later I told Ry he had to leave the hole blocked. To which he replied, "But I love them." I said they weren't our puppies and he said "But I love them." I reminded him that we have a dog, he responded, "But they're little and I love them". I told him they were little now but soon they'd be big like Charlotte (our 60 lb. yellow lab).

I tried to put the puppies back through the hole, but that didn't work so well. When a puppy doesn't want to go through a hole it ain't goin' through the hole. So I blocked the hole and carried the puppies back to their yard. As soon as I put them down they ran back out through the gate. I caught them and tried again. This time I had Ryan shut the gate behind me. Then I was trapped. I couldn't shoo them far enough away to get out the gate. Finally I threw a stick and they went after it.

I was squeezing out the gate when my big bottom hit the water spigot on the side of the house. I thought I broke the darn thing off because water was spraying every where. As I shut the gate I turned around to see I hadn't broken it I had just turned it on. I turned it off. Soaked from the waist down I went back to our yard where Ryan was trying to open the hole again. I screamed, "NO" he cried "BUT I LOVE THEM!"  Here we go again.

Isn't that just a metaphor for life? You try to do the right thing and you end up dripping wet with bruised butt and a brokenhearted little boy.

Nutcracker Market

Year after year I've listened to all the hype surrounding the Nutcracker Market. I have to admit I've always been intrigued, however, I've never gone because I just feel there's something intrinsically wrong in having to pay for the privilege to shop. This year was different because I was invited to go with some friends. Everyone knows everything is more fun with friends and it didn't hurt that they gave me a free pass to get in.

God only knows all the germs I introduced to my body sampling all the yummy stuff thousands of other people had breathed on. I'll just consider it an exercise in building my immune system. Of the hundreds of vendors the one that made it all worth it was Cherry Republic. I saw that booth and I was in heaven. I am crazy about anything cherry and this place had cherry trail mix, cherry salsa, cherry BBQ sauce, and on and on.

Today my hands are bruised and my biceps are sore from carrying around a bag full of world famous spaghetti sauce I foolishly bought as soon as we got inside. I was so worried about them selling out (which they did 3 hours later) I didn't stop to think about how difficult lugging that stuff around for five hours would be. And yes Traci I bought a bottle for you.

All in all it was a great day.

Battle of the Sexes

The other day Salem and Ryan were arguing about something (as usual). When Salem had it with Ryan she said (with great disgust in her voice), "BOY!" Ryan responded (with equal disgust), "GIRL!" Salem growled "Boy!" Ryan retorted, "Girl!" They went back and forth like this about 15 times. Just when I was about to get involved Salem spelled out, "B-O-Y" Ryan hesitated a couple of seconds and said "I AM A B-O-Y!" Salem looked at him and said, "Hey you wanna play dead man?" Ryan smiled and said "OK" and off they went.

I guess if you grew up with siblings this is completely normal. But as an only child I find it all incredibly amusing.

That's my boy!

Ryan likes to go with Jeff to drop Salem off at school in the morning. He likes the little girls (5th graders) that open the car door to let Salem out in the car pool line. His favorite is a little red head. Today the red head wasn't there but a cute brunette opened the door. After Salem got out and the brunette shut the door Ryan said, "Ohhh, that's pretty." Jeff said, "What's pretty? That little girl?" Ryan responded, "Ummm Hummm." Jeff really got a kick out of that.

Later I asked Ryan if he thought the girl who opened the door for Say today was cute and he said, "Yeah, but freckles wasn't there." I guess "freckles" is still his favorite. That's fine, he can think they're pretty, nickname them, and flirt all he wants. I'm not letting him have a girlfriend until he's 30.

Hello...Thanksgiving comes FIRST!

I love Christmas, I really do, but it comes AFTER Thanksgiving! We got the Christmas Toys-r-Us catalog the week before Halloween. The mall had Christmas music playing the day before Halloween. We have neighbors that have already put up their Christmas lights. Not only are their displays up they're turning them on at night. Canyon Gate already has it's 38 foot Red Bow draped across the sign at it's entrance. Come on now!

I feel like Thanksgiving is being completely overlooked and I find that very irritating. Salem is six and even she can see the injustice. Her exact words were, "What the heck is wrong with those people? It's not time for that yet! You're supposed to wait until after Thanksgiving!" My sentiments exactly.

Conversations with Ryan

Last night after hugging, kissing and tucking Ryan in bed we had this little chat:

Me: I love you!

Ryan: I don't like you.

Me: What???

Ryan: (very slowly) I DON"T LIKE YOU.

Me: Why?

Ryan: Because dogs bark at you.

Me: What? Dogs don't bark at me!

Ryan: Yes they do. They do bark at you.

Me: You're crazy.

Ryan: But dogs don't bark at me.

Then he insisted on giving me another hug and kiss, said he loved me. I don't know if I'll very understand that boy.

Young Love

Salem has been practicing her writing a lot lately. When I was cleaning house I found one of her notebooks under the coffee table. When I looked inside I read this story.

Tod was to kiss Lodin.
Tod gefs Lodin a sobree kiss.
Tod has to go ayawa from Lodin.
Again They kiss.

I was a little panicked. She's six years old. How would she know anything about kissing? Surely she didn't come up with all of this on her own. Who are Tod and Lodin? She doesn't watch soaps, honest. When I showed the notebook to Jeff he was just as baffled as I was. He called Salem into our room and said, "Salem, what is this?" and started reading. She lost it. She started tackling him trying to get the notebook. She was yelling over his voice. She was acting like a crazy woman I tell you. She went nuts trying to get that notebook.

Finally we calmed her down enough to ask her what the story was about. She said it was just one of her shows on Saturday morning. That's when I remembered 'Suite Life with Zack and Cody'. LONDON had a boyfriend in the last episode, I didn't pay attention to his name. Obviously it was Todd. I was relieved the explanation was so simple. I'm no longer worried about my daughter rivaling Danielle Steel by the time she's ten.

This morning when I was picking up I found another piece of paper. On it Salem had written, "I am speed Lightening McQueen chanted..." Now that's more like it.

Oh yeah, if you see her around, don't tell her I told you about this. She's a little sensitive about it.

Off-ice

Salem's been learning about compound words in school. For homework we had to read through a story, pick out all the compound words, write them at the end, and then come up with five more compound words of our own. Salem's smart so this wasn't a problem.

When we were done we were talking about the meaning of some of the compound words. Salem commented,"Yeah I get those words but I don't get 'office'. How can you put the words 'off' and 'ice' together and it mean 'the place where you work'?

Telling her it wasn't a real compound word didn't help much. I guess I can just add this to the many questions my kids ask that I don't have answers for. Maybe you can help.

1. Why is Friday called Friday?
2. Why are months named the way they are?
3. Why is the color blue called blue?
4. Why do you have to spell words?
5. Why can't we sleep in your bed?
6. Why do some girls have flat stomachs? (Salem asked after a day at the pool)

Hindsight Parents

Jeff and I are excellent hindsight parents. We can look back at our parenting mistakes (there have already been oh so many) and tell you exactly what we did wrong and how we would do things differently. Sometimes it takes days or occasionally weeks to see our mistakes but most times it's pretty instant.
Case in point: Our kids love playing Marco Polo. They played it all summer at the pool. Last night they decided to play their own indoor version. Ryan was it because he pretty much has to do whatever his sister tells him. Salem threw a blanket over his head and told him to start yelling "Marco". At first he was very cautious as he followed her "Polos" around the house but it wasn't long before he was chasing with all he is worth. Jeff and I were cracking up. It was quite an amusing little scene. Until Ryan crashed into the kitchen cabinet. As he stumbled toward us dazed and crying Jeff muttered, "I knew that was a bad idea. We should have said no as soon as they started." 20/20 I tell ya 20/20.