The Price Family Home Companion

Healthcare Nightmare

Last night I had the weirdest dream. I was sitting in the waiting room at my doctors office, it was completely packed and I was filling out a stack of paperwork about two inches thick. When I was done I went to the counter and slid my paperwork through a slot under a frosted glass window. An automated voice told me my approximate waiting time was 2 1/2 hours. That made me really mad but I had no choice but to sit back down. Then the doctor came out (she looked like my 5th grade teacher, I really didn't like my 5th grade teacher) and she handed the woman next to me my chart and a blood pressure cuff and said, "I'm running behind. Take her blood pressure for me." The woman looked at me funny and held up the cuff. As I wondered where my real doctor was, I kinda shrugged and held up my arm. We tried three times to get my BP and every time the cuff just slid of my arm. I walked up to the doctor, who was still in the waiting room handing out assignment to her patients, and told her the thing was a piece of junk and I had a better one at home. I told her the last time I checked my BP it was 101/70. She said, "That'll work, write it down."

When I turned around I saw Jeff walk in with his chiropractor. He looked at me and said, "You're still here?" I nodded and asked what he was doing. He said they were refusing to give the chiropractor the MRI results of his back so he came to get them in person. The doctor came up and asked him what he wanted. When he told her she said that she didn't have to share the results with a chiropractor because he was not a real doctor and since she ordered the MRI she would be the one to treat him. Jeff told her he wanted to look at his results and she said "FINE!" and went to the back. When she came out with Jeff's file he took it out of her hands, turned around, winked at me, and walked out. She looked at me and asked, "Do you know that man?" I said, "Yes, he's my husband." She said, "I can see you two are nothing but trouble! Get out!" Then she stormed off to the back and I woke up.

When Jeff got up this morning I told him, "I think I got a glimpse of what it'll be like if this government healthcare reform goes through." I know the current system is a frustrating mess but I believe the government sticking their hands in it certainly won't make it better.

Not the Time for Chit-chat

As many of you have come to realize, I have several pet-peeves. One such peeve is when people try to carry on a conversation with someone who is in the restroom. I believe if someone is in the potty they should be left alone. It's a concept that my lovely children just can't seem to grasp. From the number of people I've heard talking on their cell phones in public restrooms I was beginning to think I was the only one who felt this way. Today I overheard a conversation that let me know I'm not alone.

From one stall: Daughter - "Hey Mom are you going to lift weighs today?"
From other stall: Mom- "What? Don't talk to me right now."
Daughter - "Why?"
Mom - "I can't concentrate!"
Daughter -(sarcastically) "Can't concentrate on what? Peeing?"
Mom - "Shut up!"

I found the whole thing quite amusing but now have to accept that my kids may never get it.

(By the way if I call you while you're in the restroom please don't answer the phone. If I hear the toilet flush in the background I'll lose complete respect for you and may not be able to talk to you again. Unless that's your goal, don't do it.)

Summer School

Salem is a very attentive big sister. This summer she has pulled Ryan aside at some point almost everyday to tutor him in drawing shapes and writing letters. He's an eager but not always successful student. Salem showers him with praise for his efforts and always gives him an A+ 100% on his papers and puts a sticker on his T-shirt. Saturday morning was the first time Ryan decided to ditch class. His teacher responded by chasing him down and attempted to drag him to his desk. He escaped and ran to our bedroom where Jeff and I were sleeping peacefully. All the commotion  woke Jeff up and he grumbled, "What's going on? What's the problem?" Salem, thinking she'd have an ally said, "Ryan won't come to school!" Jeff, who hated school, told her, "Leave the poor kid alone! It's Saturday for cryin' out loud. Plus it's summer. Give him a break." Salem left the room defeated.

She certainly hasn't given up teaching though. Last night the kids were jumping on the bed when I heard her say, "No Ryan! That's not how you fall off the bed. Here let me teach you how to fall off the bed like a professional. Don't you want to learn how to fall off the bed like a professional?" I had no idea my daughter was a professional bed faller offer. I heard stories about kids helping their families make money in these hard times, some little girl's selling her artwork for big bucks and another is writing and illustrating children's books. That gave me an idea, if anyone wants to watch my daughter fall off the bed that'll be $25/fall. She is a professional after all. To watch Ryan take a spill it's $10. He may not be a professional but he has taken lessons from one. If you want Salem to give your child lessons so he/she too can fall off the bed like a professional it's $40/half hour with a certificate at the end declaring your child a professional bed faller offer.

Jimbo

The other day I was rocking Ryan in my arms and telling him how I knew a little boy who was the sweetest boy ever, who had a smile that brightened the world and on and on. After my litany of praises I said, "and this little boy's name is Ryan Michael Price." Ryan smiled up at me and I asked, "Isn't that your name?" He responded immediately, "NOPE!" I said "What?" He replied "My names Jimbo." I had to laugh. Jimbo? Of all the names in the world he picks Jimbo? For the next couple of hours he only responded to Jimbo

The next day he got into trouble and was told he couldn't play the Wii for the rest of the day. Later on he walked up to me smiled sweetly and said, "Um Mommy, Jimbo wants to play the Wii." I said, "Oh he does, does he? Well where's Ryan?" He responded, "Well, I just saw him. He's at school...eating pizza." He's too smart for his own good. Just because Ryan's in trouble that doesn't mean Jimbo is. Right? As cute as it was it didn't work.

Later that night when Jeff and I were tucking him in I asked if he was Ryan because I really wanted to give Ryan a kiss. He said, "Of course I'm Ryan." I said, "Good I was ready for Jimbo to go home I missed my Ryan." He replied, "This IS Jimbo's home. He's sleeping on the top bunk." This one's gonna keep me on my toes.

American Girl

Before the kids left with Alice (aka Grammy) last week we had discussed where we could meet to pick them up. Dallas was mentioned and Salem latched onto the idea because Dallas is home to Texas' only American Girl store. Salem has become American Girl obsessed of late. She got Mia (2008 girl of the year) for Christmas and used her birthday money to buy Chrissa (2009 girl of the year). She visits the website daily, pours through her catalogs, and has even looked up flights to Chicago to visit the AG store there. I've never cared for dolls, not even when I was little. I outright hated Cabbage Patch Dolls. However, since visiting American Girl meant so much to Say, we decided to make it happen. We even made reservations for brunch at the bistro.

I figured her excitement would prove contagious, and it did, I was just as excited as she was by the big day. As we approached the giant pink building Salem looked like she was walking on air. Ryan, on the other hand, started backing up and whispering, "I don't want to go in there!" over and over. We were only able to calm him when we reassured him Daddy would be taking him to the Lego store VERY soon. Upon entering the store Ryan visibly shut down and made sounds like a robot short circuiting. Jeff had to carry his limp body around the few minutes they stayed.

Salem was smiling ear to ear and walked directly to Rebecca as soon as she was through the door. Yes, thank you American Girl for coming out with a new doll that looks so much like my daughter just days before our visit. Unfortunately for Salem, Jeff and I decided that three dolls in one year would be too many. Being told you can't spend your own money on something you want is never fun but learning to wait is a very important lesson. While she wasn't pleased, she handled our decision well. Luckily there were hundreds of other things she also wanted to buy. I have to say, I'm quite proud she put a lot of thought into her purchases and left the store with money to spare. I don't know if you could pay me enough to go to Dallas again but it was a fun weekend and Salem got to realize one of her dreams.

thinking of you

Yesterday as Ryan and I were driving to swim Ryan and I discussed the word selfish. It went like this...

Ryan: Mommy, why are Max and Monty selfish? (Max and Monty are dump trucks on Thomas)

Me: Because they don't care about anyone else or how their actions can hurt someone else they just do what they want to do. They ran someone off the road and didn't even stop to help.

Ryan: What does selfish mean?

Me: Selfish is when you only think about yourself. You want what you want and you don't care about other people. It's thinking what people can do for you not what you can do for them.

Ryan: Oh Mommy, I'm not selfish. I'm not selfish because I'm always thinking about yoouuuuuu!

He said "you" in such and intense dramatic whisper. It was too funny. It's also kinda sad because one day some silly girl is going to fall for his smooth talk.

My Name is Salem, I'm 7, and I'm a PC

Salem's first digital masterpiece after discovering Microsoft Paint

Oh Really?

Last night Jeff, Salem, and I were watching video of people bungee jumping online. Ryan walk over to see what we looking at. He watched a few seconds and stated in a matter of fact tone, "Oh, I did that when I was twelve." We all looked at him for a second. Jeff and I cracked up, Salem just rolled her eyes.

Don't Mess With Texas

Texas is a state that's known for being proud of itself and everything in it. Come March Texas shows off it's sacred blue bonnets. Now Salem picked up a rumor in three year old preschool that it's against the law to pick a bluebonnet. She believes this to be true and well a lot of people, young and old, do too. When we were taking pictures with the bluebonnets at spring break Salem and her friends made sure Ryan and Ella (the youngest in the group) didn't break this cardinal rule.

At the lake there were a handful of bluebonnets scattered throughout the campsite. The kids were careful not to step on them and certainly did not pick any. Saturday morning as we were slowly packing up to leave Salem saw a young girl carrying a bluebonnet. She was outraged. It was all I could do to keep her from making a citizens arrest. When she realized she'd be getting no help from me she went to her friends. All of them were shocked and wanted justice. I had to stop them when Salem brazenly pointed out the "lawbreaking" child. After a long talk she was of the opinion that even if it wasn't against the law it still wasn't right.

Team Smile and other Stories

Yesterday after listening to the kids argue and fuss most of the afternoon/evening I'd had it. I told the kids I was planning on giving them cake after dinner but they could not yell, fuss, or argue any more. I told them they were a team and their goal was to keep each other happy. If I heard yelling or fussing from either of them they would both lose dessert. Neither of them thought that was fair but they straightened up and earned cake. Later Jeff was reading Ryan a bedtime story and Salem came in and started antagonizing her brother. I said, "Hey! Don't you remember you guys are on the same team? You guys are Team Happy. Now knock it off." Salem looked up annoyed and said snottily "I don't want to be on Team Happy!" I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as Ms. Pat's voice played in my head "always calm, always calm, always calm." Then in my calmest voice, "Fine. Then you can go to bed." She rolled her eyes in response and said, "I'll only be on the team if we call it Team Smile." Jeff jumped in and said, "Ok, you're Team Smile but Mommy and I are Team Spank and don't you forget it. Please don't call CPS, he was joking - kinda.

This morning Ryan came to me in a panic. He said, "Oh Mommy, MOMMY did you send Wall-E back?" I said, "No Honey, not yet." He sighed with relief and exclaimed, "Oh thank GOD!" I don't know where he gets his dramatics from.

The other night at dinner Ryan told us an amusing story: "Guys, guys, I remember when I was a little tiny baby and I was in Mommy's tummy. And there were race cars in there. I was racing with the race cars. And right before I got to the finish line I hit a big wall and I crashed. So I didn't get to finish. Then later when I saw Mommy I was crying." Huh, so that's why I had to be induced. He hit a wall and couldn't finish...and he was crying the first time he saw me.